1 macchar ne admi ko din me kata. Admi:Tum raat me kat te ho na? Macchar:Kya kare, ghar k halat kuch kharab hai. Overtime kar raha hu...!

1 macchar ne admi ko din me kata. Admi:Tum raat me kat te ho na? Macchar:Kya kare, ghar k halat kuch kharab hai. Overtime kar raha hu...!

When u lose, don't lose the lesson!

When u lose, don't lose the lesson!

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. Bob Hope

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
Bob Hope

A Machine invested 2 catch thives was tested. In UK, it caught 50 theves in 30 min, SPAIN:it caught 110, INDIA:in 15 min machine was stolen.......

A Machine invested 2 catch thives was tested. In UK, it caught 50 theves in 30 min, SPAIN:it caught 110, INDIA:in 15 min machine was stolen.......

Do what you love, love what you do, and deliver more than you promise

Do what you love, love what you do, and deliver more than you promise

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. Groucho Marx

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx

Santa:Yaar raat Me Suraj kaha chala Jata he?? Banta:Suraj kahi nahi jata he Sirf andhere ki Wajah se hum use Dekh nahi paate..

Santa:Yaar raat Me Suraj kaha chala Jata he?? Banta:Suraj kahi nahi jata he Sirf andhere ki Wajah se hum use Dekh nahi paate..

Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. George Bernard Shaw

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw

Santa:Main apna purse ghar bhool aaya, mujhe 1000 Rs chaiye. Banta: Dost hi dost k kaam aata he, le 10 Rs, riksha kar or purse le aa...

Santa:Main apna purse ghar bhool aaya, mujhe 1000 Rs chaiye. Banta: Dost hi dost k kaam aata he, le 10 Rs, riksha kar or purse le aa...

Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. Erma Bombeck

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
Erma Bombeck

Wen ur sitin lonly, alone in 1 cornr of d, world n thre's no1 arnd,u no1 2 hear u, no1 2 dstrb u, no1 2talk 2 u, Thats Wirte time do ur Study

Wen ur sitin lonly, alone in 1 cornr of d, world n thre's no1 arnd,u no1 2 hear u, no1 2 dstrb u, no1 2talk 2 u, Thats Wirte time do ur Study

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. Josh Billings

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
Josh Billings

Man to Boss: I wanna marry ur daughter Boss:Ur salary is not even gonna be enuf 4 her toilet papers Man: If she shits that much then 4get it

Man to Boss: I wanna marry ur daughter Boss:Ur salary is not even gonna be enuf 4 her toilet papers Man: If she shits that much then 4get it

You may be on the right track, but if you just sit there, you will get run over

You may be on the right track, but if you just sit there, you will get run over

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. Groucho Marx

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx

Ek dost ne Sonu se poocha:"Yaar tu hamesha foreign channel kyon dekhta rehta" >>>Santa:"Yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharch hone do..!"

Ek dost ne Sonu se poocha:"Yaar tu hamesha foreign channel kyon dekhta rehta" >>>Santa:"Yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharch hone do..!"

To reach our port we must sail. Sometimes with the wind, sometimes against it

To reach our port we must sail. Sometimes with the wind, sometimes against it

A little learning is a dangerous thing, but a lot of ignorance is just as bad - Bob Edwards

A little learning is a dangerous thing, but a lot of ignorance is just as bad - Bob Edwards

Wife rites msg 2 Husband "ghar kab aa rahe ho? Msg karK batao" husband writes 2 her-"nahi bata sakta balance kam he."

Wife rites msg 2 Husband "ghar kab aa rahe ho? Msg karK batao" husband writes 2 her-"nahi bata sakta balance kam he."

The mind is like a parachute,it works best when it is opened.

The mind is like a parachute,it works best when it is opened.

Soldier:- "Sir, we r surrounded by enemies from all sides". Major:- "Excellent! We can attack in any Direction!" So Always B possitive...!!

Soldier:- "Sir, we r surrounded by enemies from all sides". Major:- "Excellent! We can attack in any Direction!" So Always B possitive...!!

Only those who do nothing at all make no mistakes

Only those who do nothing at all make no mistakes

A house was on fire with 25 people inside. A sardar went inside & saved 6 by pulling them out.. But he was jailed. Y? Coz- all 6 were Firemen!

A house was on fire with 25 people inside. A sardar went inside & saved 6 by pulling them out.. But he was jailed. Y? Coz- all 6 were Firemen!

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Life of student: Purse hai, Paise nahi. Lecture hai, Attendence nahi. Mobile hai, Balance nahi. Exam hai, Tension nahi Padhna hai, Mood nahi...

Life of student: Purse hai, Paise nahi. Lecture hai, Attendence nahi. Mobile hai, Balance nahi. Exam hai, Tension nahi Padhna hai, Mood nahi...

The only place where success comes before work is the dictionary!

The only place where success comes before work is the dictionary!

Santa: took da radio in toilet wen he came out, Wife: asked did u njoy? Santa: wat bloody njoy thy put Jana Gana Mana in radio n i had 2 stand n shit.

Santa: took da radio in toilet wen he came out, Wife: asked did u njoy? Santa: wat bloody njoy thy put Jana Gana Mana in radio n i had 2 stand n shit.

Even a mosquito doesnt get a pat on the back until hes well into his work!

Even a mosquito doesnt get a pat on the back until hes well into his work!

Santa-Oye!what are you doing! Banta-Recording this babys voice. Santa-Why! Banta-When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this.

Santa-Oye!what are you doing! Banta-Recording this babys voice. Santa-Why! Banta-When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this.

Long term focus is better in the short term then short term focus in the long term.

1 Pathan Ko Doctor Ne E.C.G Test Karwane Ka Kaha Pathan Jab Pohancha To Test Ka Naam Bhool Gaya Aur Lab m Bola "Bhai Jaan Hamara CNG Kar Do"

1 Pathan Ko Doctor Ne E.C.G Test Karwane Ka Kaha Pathan Jab Pohancha To Test Ka Naam Bhool Gaya Aur Lab m Bola "Bhai Jaan Hamara CNG Kar Do"

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. ~~~ Albert Einstein

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. ~~~ Albert Einstein

Sardaro Ki party chal rahi thi, DJ wala- kab tak Dj bajau? Party organiser: 10bhaje tak uske bhad ye Genretor ki awaj par nachte rahnge

Sardaro Ki party chal rahi thi, DJ wala- kab tak Dj bajau? Party organiser: 10bhaje tak uske bhad ye Genretor ki awaj par nachte rahnge

When inspiration does not come to me, I go half way to meet it - Sigmund Freud

When inspiration does not come to me, I go half way to meet it - Sigmund Freud

Salesman:Sir, cokroach ka powder loge kya? Santa: Nahin, hum cokroach ko itna laad pyar nahi karte! Aaj powder denge to kal deodrant maangega

Salesman:Sir, cokroach ka powder loge kya? Santa: Nahin, hum cokroach ko itna laad pyar nahi karte! Aaj powder denge to kal deodrant maangega

Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true

Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true

Aadat or ada me ky Fark hai? "Road k nal se pani pina Garib piye to aadat Amir piye to adaa Ab Sms ko le lo Ap bhejo to ada Main bheju to adat"

Aadat or ada me ky Fark hai? "Road k nal se pani pina Garib piye to aadat Amir piye to adaa Ab Sms ko le lo Ap bhejo to ada Main bheju to adat"

When you woke up Alive in the morning..then thanks God for the same.

When you woke up Alive in the morning..then thanks God for the same.

Teacher:Ek Saal Me Kitni Raate Hoti Hai? Santa:10 Raate Hoti Hai Ji !! Teacher:10 Raate, Kaise? Santa: 9 NavaRaati aur 1 ShivRaatri...

Teacher:Ek Saal Me Kitni Raate Hoti Hai? Santa:10 Raate Hoti Hai Ji !! Teacher:10 Raate, Kaise? Santa: 9 NavaRaati aur 1 ShivRaatri...

If a man does only what is required of him, he is a slave. If a man does more than is required of him, he is a free man.

If a man does only what is required of him, he is a slave. If a man does more than is required of him, he is a free man.

Santa ki amma mar gayi.2-4 aadmi bole-amma hamein bi le jati apne saath. Santa bola chup ho jao kamino, amma kya TATA SUMO karke gayi hai..

Santa ki amma mar gayi.2-4 aadmi bole-amma hamein bi le jati apne saath. Santa bola chup ho jao kamino, amma kya TATA SUMO karke gayi hai..

"To rule is easy, to govern difficult."

"To rule is easy, to govern difficult."

Santa- Pant ki silayi kitni he? Tailor- Rs.150. Santa- chadi ki? Tailor- Rs.50. Santa- Ok. Chadi hi sil de par lambayi pairon tak rakhna.

Santa- Pant ki silayi kitni he? Tailor- Rs.150. Santa- chadi ki? Tailor- Rs.50. Santa- Ok. Chadi hi sil de par lambayi pairon tak rakhna.

The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it

The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it

Clasrooms r just lik train! 1st 2benchs r xcutive coachs(only4 VIPs), Middle 2 benchs r general compartments, last2benchs r sleepercoaches.

Clasrooms r just lik train! 1st 2benchs r xcutive coachs(only4 VIPs), Middle 2 benchs r general compartments, last2benchs r sleepercoaches.

You can't shake hands with a clenched fist. ~~~ Mahatma Gandhi

You can't shake hands with a clenched fist. ~~~ Mahatma Gandhi

Man: "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat a birthday cake!" Doctor: "Next time Please take off the candles before you eat."

Man: "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat a birthday cake!" Doctor: "Next time Please take off the candles before you eat."

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler. ~~~ Albert Einstein

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler. ~~~ Albert Einstein

Shadi Me khane Ke 2 Rule: 1. PEHLI bar is tarah khao ki dusri bar milega nahi 2. DUSRI bar is tarah khao ki pehli bar khaya hi nahi..

Shadi Me khane Ke 2 Rule: 1. PEHLI bar is tarah khao ki dusri bar milega nahi 2. DUSRI bar is tarah khao ki pehli bar khaya hi nahi..

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for.

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for.

Santa 2 doctor: mera beta motor cycle se gir gaya hai. doc: i don know hindi, talk in english. Santa my londa gironda 4m herohonda

Santa 2 doctor: mera beta motor cycle se gir gaya hai. doc: i don know hindi, talk in english. Santa my londa gironda 4m herohonda

Live not ones life as though one had a thousand years, but live each day as the last.

Live not ones life as though one had a thousand years, but live each day as the last.

Arz kiya hai! Agar kar leti ishq humse wo Uski raato ki nind ud jati Isi bahane raat ko padhti rehti Kam se km exam me pass to ho jati

Arz kiya hai! Agar kar leti ishq humse wo Uski raato ki nind ud jati Isi bahane raat ko padhti rehti Kam se km exam me pass to ho jati

She said she usually cried at least once each day, not because she was sad, but because the world was so beautiful... and life was so short

She said she usually cried at least once each day, not because she was sad, but because the world was so beautiful... and life was so short

WIFE-Janu, kaash aap Msg hote me aapko save karti Jab chahe padhti HUSBAND-Janebahaar, kash tu mp3 ring hoti mai har roz tujhe change karta.

WIFE-Janu, kaash aap Msg hote me aapko save karti Jab chahe padhti HUSBAND-Janebahaar, kash tu mp3 ring hoti mai har roz tujhe change karta.

Be like a sponge when it comes to each new experience. If you want to be able to express it well, you must first be able to absorb it well

Be like a sponge when it comes to each new experience. If you want to be able to express it well, you must first be able to absorb it well

Pagal: (gusse me) Mai is duniya ko mita dunga, mita dunga, mita dunga...Dusra Pagal: He! he! he! mai tujhe eraser hi nahi dunga.......

Pagal: (gusse me) Mai is duniya ko mita dunga, mita dunga, mita dunga...Dusra Pagal: He! he! he! mai tujhe eraser hi nahi dunga.......

I must accept life unconditionally. Most people ask for happiness on condition. Happiness can only be felt if you dont set any condition.

I must accept life unconditionally. Most people ask for happiness on condition. Happiness can only be felt if you dont set any condition.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

Salman:Aaj mere paas 14 cars,18 Bikes,4 Bunglow,3 Farmhouse hai,Ap ke Paas kya hai? Amitabh:Mere paas beta hai Jiske paas teri ITEM hai!

Salman:Aaj mere paas 14 cars,18 Bikes,4 Bunglow,3 Farmhouse hai,Ap ke Paas kya hai? Amitabh:Mere paas beta hai Jiske paas teri ITEM hai!

Find a purpose in life so big it will challenge every capacity to be at your best.

Find a purpose in life so big it will challenge every capacity to be at your best.

Santa-Yaar"Meri Door Ki Nazar Kharab He,Chashma Lena Padega. Banta-Wo Kya Chamak Raha Hai? Santa-Suraj. Banta-Sale Aur Kitne Dur Dekhega!

Santa-Yaar"Meri Door Ki Nazar Kharab He,Chashma Lena Padega. Banta-Wo Kya Chamak Raha Hai? Santa-Suraj. Banta-Sale Aur Kitne Dur Dekhega!

"Well done is better than well said."

"Well done is better than well said."